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The first time I met someone I was interested in post-break-up, none of those rules were relevant.We had sex, texted, and hung out without counting the hours between messages or playing hard to get. In a scenario familiar to millions of people, yet honestly surprising to me, I had sex with a guy (we’ll call him Dan) and never heard from him again.
The ratio of men to women on campus may have an important effect on the college dating scene.
“They know that men will latch on to any sign that they’re being friendly as proof they’re pathetic and want to be in a relationship,” she adds.
As a culture, we’ve elected to celebrate the supposedly male perspective of detachment, says Wade, and to enhance it to an emotionally cold extreme.
Men had the wages to buy dinner (and, ultimately, a lifetime of financial security), so dating became a way for women to attract male attention and gain access to wealth.
“At a really deep level, even though I hope we’re moving beyond this in some way, there’s still the idea that dating is like work for women and recreation for men,” Weigel says.
I didn’t know him well and certainly wasn’t emotionally invested, but the interaction still rankled me.