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“There’s no one way to do polyamory” is a common refrain in “the community.” Polyamory—which literally means “many loves”—can involve any number of people, either cohabiting or not, sometimes all having sex with each other, and sometimes just in couples within the larger group.Sarah and Michael met 15 years ago when they were both folk singers and active in the polyamorous community.“There are no ‘shoulds.’ You don’t have to draw a line between who is a lover and who is a friend.They’ve been “nesting partners” for 12 years, but they’ve both had other relationships throughout that time.In fact, this quest has become so common (and its object has remained so elusive) that it’s known as “hunting the unicorn.”But Sheff cautions that once said unicorn is caught, “the men are sometimes not as well-tended as they hoped to be.
Increasingly, polyamorous people—not to be confused with the prairie-dress-clad fundamentalist polygamists—are all around us.
Of the three people living in the Northern Virginia duplex, Sarah volunteers that she’s the one most prone to jealousy.
“It can be about feeling like you’re not special, or feeling like this thing belonged to me and now someone’s taken it.”She said it was rough for her when Jonica first moved in.
Polyamory overlaps somewhat with geek culture, such as cosplay, or the kink world, such as BDSM.
Many couples who become interested in polyamory start by looking for a single, bisexual woman to add to the relationship.
Both of them say they knew from a young age that there was something different about their sexuality.